By Doug Shields
Goodbye 2016 – and quite frankly good riddance. 2017 is well underway – and I can’t find anyone to go for a pint with.
All my friends are either doing Dry January or Veganuary and every single text or social media post I have sent enquiring ‘Fancy a pint’ has been rebuffed or totally ignored. My Veganuary friends are obviously avoiding meat and fish – so the simple delights of a curry are also out of the question and to make matters worse I’m the only one who isn’t on a diet.
So as you can imagine being asked to write a blog post at this time of year is an unenviable task. What shall I write about? Diets, the joys of healthy eating, joining a gym – well not until they’ve reinstated their £1 a pint promo anyway. That doesn’t leave me a lot.
So to cheer myself up, I asked the GingerComms gang to predict what they think will happen in 2017. ‘The boundaries are unlimited’, I said. ‘They can be personal, political, environmental, or just mental’, I told them. ‘I’ll leave it completely up to you’, I said.
This is what they came up with….
January Headlines
MERYL STREEP IS GUEST OF HONOUR AT TRUMP INAUGURATION
MICHELLE OBAMA SET TO RUN FOR PRESIDENT IN 2020
February Headlines
JEREMY CORBYN AND THERESA MAY IN SECRET LOVE TRYST
TOP PREMIER LEAGUE STAR ADMITS: “WE’RE OVERPAID”
March Headlines
BRITAIN PLUNGES INTO RECESSION AS ARTICLE 50 IS TRIGGERED
TRUMP SURVIVES ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT
April Headlines
BORIS JOHNSON: WHEN I SAID BREXIT I DIDN’T ACTUALLY MEAN BREXIT
HOTTEST SUMMER ON RECORD (Daily Express)
May Headlines
WETTEST SUMMER ON RECORD (Daily Express)
TRUMP IMPEACHED
June Headlines
TRUMP AND PUTIN IN TOPLESS PICS SHOCK (Daily Star)
ANT AND DEC TO RETIRE
July Headlines
MURRAY OUT IN WIMBLEDON FIRST ROUND SHOCKER
KIM AND KANYE SPLIT
August Headlines
VERNON CHEATS ON TESS – AGAIN
HARRY AND MEGHAN ARE ENGAGED
September Headlines
TRUMP SURVIVES 2ND ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT
ROONEY TOLD HIS ENGLAND CAREER IS OVER
October Headlines
BRITAIN SIGNS FIRST ‘BREXIT’ TRADE AGREEMENT – WITH MALTA
CHERYL STILL PREGNANT
November Headlines
MICK JAGGER BECOMES A DAD – AGAIN
APPLE IN FACEBOOK TAKEOVER
December Headlines
SPICE GIRLS TO PLAY WEMBLEY
HARRY’S MEGHAN IS PREGNANT