By Doug Shields

Goodbye 2016 – and quite frankly good riddance.  2017 is well underway – and I can’t find anyone to go for a pint with.

 

All my friends are either doing Dry January or Veganuary and every single text or social media post I have sent enquiring ‘Fancy a pint’ has been rebuffed or totally ignored. My Veganuary friends are obviously avoiding meat and fish – so the simple delights of a curry are also out of the question and to make matters worse I’m the only one who isn’t on a diet.

 

So as you can imagine being asked to write a blog post at this time of year is an unenviable task. What shall I write about? Diets, the joys of healthy eating, joining a gym – well not until they’ve reinstated their £1 a pint promo anyway. That doesn’t leave me a lot.

 

So to cheer myself up, I asked the GingerComms gang to predict what they think will happen in 2017. ‘The boundaries are unlimited’, I said. ‘They can be personal, political, environmental, or just mental’, I told them.  ‘I’ll leave it completely up to you’, I said.

 

This is what they came up with….

 

January Headlines

 

MERYL STREEP IS GUEST OF HONOUR AT TRUMP INAUGURATION

 

MICHELLE OBAMA SET TO RUN FOR PRESIDENT IN 2020

 

February Headlines

 

JEREMY CORBYN AND THERESA MAY IN SECRET LOVE TRYST

 

TOP PREMIER LEAGUE STAR ADMITS: “WE’RE OVERPAID”

 

March Headlines

 

BRITAIN PLUNGES INTO RECESSION AS ARTICLE 50 IS TRIGGERED

 

TRUMP SURVIVES ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT

 

April Headlines

 

BORIS JOHNSON: WHEN I SAID BREXIT I DIDN’T ACTUALLY MEAN BREXIT

 

HOTTEST SUMMER ON RECORD (Daily Express)

 

May Headlines

 

WETTEST SUMMER ON RECORD (Daily Express)

 

TRUMP IMPEACHED

 

June Headlines

 

TRUMP AND PUTIN IN TOPLESS PICS SHOCK (Daily Star)

 

ANT AND DEC TO RETIRE

 

July Headlines

 

MURRAY OUT IN WIMBLEDON FIRST ROUND SHOCKER

 

KIM AND KANYE SPLIT

 

August Headlines

 

VERNON CHEATS ON TESS – AGAIN

 

HARRY AND MEGHAN ARE ENGAGED

 

September Headlines

 

TRUMP SURVIVES 2ND ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT

 

ROONEY TOLD HIS ENGLAND CAREER IS OVER

 

October Headlines

 

BRITAIN SIGNS FIRST ‘BREXIT’ TRADE AGREEMENT – WITH MALTA

 

CHERYL STILL PREGNANT

 

November Headlines

 

MICK JAGGER BECOMES A DAD – AGAIN

 

APPLE IN FACEBOOK TAKEOVER

 

December Headlines

 

SPICE GIRLS TO PLAY WEMBLEY

 

HARRY’S MEGHAN IS PREGNANT